hands inside my head

To My Father's House

2009-11-18T19:56:00.000-08:00

i'm coming to my Father's house.

i have the key,

now, where is it?

check my pockets?

i can be so irresponsible sometimes.

hmm, i know i have it...?

leafing through my Bible,

my prayer books

my papers.

then i'm thinking;

i suppose i could knock?

i could shout, he'd hear me?

kick the door down?

i'm not sure that would be good?

check under the mat

and behind the flowerpot?

this is getting frustrating!

wait a minute,

Oh!

yes there it was all the time,

around my neck

close to my heart.

the one given me by my older brother.

i slip the braided leather cord

over my head,

looking closely

at the large nails

formed into a crude key

with a carved wooden handle

i slip it into the key hole

it fits perfectly.

turning to the right

i hear the clunk

of the mechanism.

i step into the well lit foyer

and remove my coat and baggage,

my shoes and hat.

crossing the floor

i reach the french doors

and slide them gently.

there is soft music,

i recognize the song

and join in.

closing my eyes i stop for a moment

meditating upon the words.

the carpeted floor is warm and soft.

i cross it to another set of doors.

these doors have beautiful stained glass.

i speak the words i see etched

on the glass and smile.

i knock softly before entering.

the room is swelling with more music,

love songs.

in the background i hear

my sibling's voices

and the reassuring voice

of our Father.

"Hello Daddy."

"Hello son," he says,

"Tell me about your day." He inquires.

i run into His outstretched arms. (L)

2009-11-16T09:59:00.000-08:00

2009-11-16T09:56:00.000-08:00

2009-11-16T09:55:00.001-08:00

Crossing Over

2009-11-16T08:13:00.000-08:00

"If the Lord delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand." Ps.37.23-24
Crossing over and leaving the soulical realm behind.
There will be many crossings we will have to negotiate in this life journey of following after the Lord.
Not all will be easy. Some will require a great amount of faith, Some may be a battle of will, mind, spirit, soul.

Leaving the familiar is a challenge, since many of us do not like change.
This has always been the greatest problem within the church that God desires. Since he does not want a church built upon man's ways, but his and because he changes the dynamics and circumstances we always question the upheaval, the chaos at times.
His word never changes, it is the one constant factor. Salvation in Jesus and no other remains a constant also. But the journey into his heart and seasons he designs so there will not remain a stagnancy will be the wall we face, or river, or ocean or continent we will ultimately have to cross.
God is not a God of the boring. His creation we enjoy is filled with his character, imagination, love for the unique, the mind blowing, the awesome. The church has been contented with the mundane and time after time the Lord comes along and brings mystery, a new paradigm.
Jesus used a variety of analogies for the Kingdom of God. We have only a few written down to consider. It is written that he spoke volumes of things, that would take a multitude of books to contain.
Who are we to question God on what he wants to do in us both as individuals and as a church body, country, nation, even the world?
We use our limited mind and resources and think we know the mind of God by our own investigation.
Scientists the world over are continually amazed at what they find and the structure of the created, although many of them will not conform to a created universe. Their discoveries which have no end should be a minute reminder of how enormous God is.
We continually want to put him into a jar like a firefly and say to ourselves, "i have understanding."
"i have enlightenment!"
In the book of Ephesians the apostle Paul in his prayer for these people asks for the Spirit of wisdom and understanding and that the eyes of their hearts would be enlightened. Why? So they could know God better, as should we.
Ephesus at the time was one of the most prominent cities in the known world. But yet they as us needed more understanding of God. This knowledge is a nonstop learning curve without end.
We cross over from soul into spirit.
Jesus introduces for the first time, "you must be born again!" A phrase the spiritual leader Nicodemus was unfamiliar with. "How can this be?" was his question. "I am old, do I have to reenter my mothers womb?"
Jesus said, "You must be born from above."
Crossing over. A New dimension. A passage with reference to birthing. A process. Receiving the seed, the Word of God, who was standing before him.
There is no other way.
Birthing is a trust issue, it is out of your hands now. Any parent will tell you, from conception to the birthing moment you trust. What we trust in is of our own volition, but every human goes through this exact same experience.
Every human now enters a place of choice of being reborn.
Where does this new dimension of birthing take place?
It happens in our heart.
Jesus says, "No one can enter the Kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh but the Spirit gives birth to spirit."
(John 3.5)
The ever continual process. Our soul had a way of loving, having joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and even a measure of self control.
Now we have to leave these soulish realm virtues and enter into the Spirit dimension of the same. A shift in our heart.
But weren't these virtues good? Yes, but not good enough, not fulfilling the spiritual requirement which is higher, better, richer, fuller.
The Kingdom of God requirement is to leave behind what was earthly.
Jesus says, "I speak to you of earthly things and you do not believe, how then will you believe if I speak to you of heavenly things?" (John3.12)
So i now make a choice in my heart to say, "I like what I have, who I am and the things I have done and how I love others and so on and so on."
If we keep what we had from our old nature, it will corrupt what we have received into our New nature and our New heart, and we are in violation of Kingdom principles. But the choice remains with us.
Reminder: Parable of New cloth ripped from New material and put onto old garment, does not match, New wine in Old wine skins, bursting and loss, indulging only in the old wine saying it is better. (Luke 5.36-39)
Many people only take a part of this parable but it is three fold.
It is about process, change, New vs Old.

God is not one dimensional and neither are we.
What an awesome life of ongoing experience we live in.
Embrace it now, because when we meet him we will be changed, again!

2009-11-07T20:06:00.000-08:00

"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them..."

Isaiah 42.16

There are many things before us that we are blind to, but to live in the Spiritual dimension designed by God, and His leading us along our journey, is the way of the Lord.

Not every journey is the same, because we are unique.

Bridges in the Spirit are choices we will have to make as we come to them and decide if they are worthy of crossing over into a New way, because we have not come this way before.

A New adventure in the Spirit or a New truth illuminated by Holy Spirit. He is the guide into all truth, and his basis come from God the Father and creator and Jesus.

All things must line up with Jesus, the Father, Holy Spirit and the Word.

The Word comes to us in two forms, one is God's spoken word and two is Jesus himself.

Any truth Holy Spirit brings New revelation to will always line up on these points.

As i was doing a study for a meeting last week, on love and the gifts of the Spirit i came across something i had never thought of before from Galatians chapter 5.16-25.

Paul is talking about the acts of the sinful nature and then speaks on the fruit of the Spirit. Being, Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control. We are quite familiar with this passage.

What came to me was this; the sinful nature is at odds to the Spirit or in his words, "contrary"

CONTRARY: an adjective.

1) diametrically opposed.

2) unfavorable.

3)willfully stubborn in opposition.

As a Noun: 1) in Logic, either of two contrary things.

As an adverb: 1) contrary in action to one's principles.

or as an idiom: contrary to expectation. (extracted from dictionary.com)

Now since i am trying to be led by the Spirit and do not want to be contrary in thinking and actions and expectation, i had to ask myself a question?

Are the things i am doing, such as my love, joy, peace, patience etc being formed in me and being executed by my will coming from a Spiritual source? Am i indeed doing these things with this fruit or am i still living out these actions through the soulish source which was present in me before i became a New creation in Christ?

We all come with our own love be it as it is, we all come with a natural joy, and peace and a form of patience and so on. We can all be kind, good, faithful, gentle and self controlled to some extent.

But; have we gone so far in our walk as to move from the childish ways and into the more mature way of walking in the Spirit in all these matters?

It is easy to stay one dimensional, but this is not the way of Holy Spirit, this is man's way.

When Jesus was rebuking Peter for his lack of understanding and he said to him, "Get behind me Satan! You are a stumbling block to me, you do not have in mind the things of God but the things of men." Matt.16.23

i wanted to question whether i was still thinking like a man in human terms and with humanistic insight only. Had i really crossed over that bridge of unconditional love?

What do i have to do to shed this clothing that smell of the contrary nature and the normal as everyone else kind of love?

What is it to know supernatural joy? To fully understand, "the joy of the Lord is my strength?"

Peace that passes all understanding?

Patience, what spiritual dimension have i crossed over to have this fruit blazing in my heart.

Kindness, at who's level? What is Holy Spirit kindness, i mean what does this look like, feel like?

Goodness. Jesus said, "you call me good, but only God is good."

Faithfulness. Jesus before his death was in the garden praying, and the disciples could not even watch and pray with him. Peter even denies him.

If i was to be tested, wait i have been and failed. i should be dead. Who was faithful to me during my failure?

Gentleness. Could i be the good Samaritan? To bind up the broken hearted, set the captives free. Give up my time, effort, be willing to get a little dirty for the sake of another. Is the real Spirit in me ready to be poured out?

Self control. i never thought about how powerful this is as a fruit of the Spirit. i always thought it was something i conjured up on my own, something i made happen because i was so in love with God and Jesus that nothing could divide my attention? There are natural elements we are capable of doing outside the Spirit. They produce pride in ourselves and we fail miserably because of all we thought we had. What did we have? A handful of sand, because that was our foundation.

i took a long look at this and realized that i had a contrary way in me that was built of my own doing, it was as natural as breathing. i was given a measure of these things and by good conscience performed them, but there is a more excellent way. The way of the Spirit and being led by and walking in Holy Spirit.

Eph.4.22-24

You were taught with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self which is being corrupted by it's deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitudes in your minds; and to put on the new self created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

When we come to know the difference within us, that there is still a line of corruption, an underlying current of things that can compromise the Spirit, and our spirit from the true holiness and righteousness of God; then the warfare we wage is not so much on the outside with elements contrary, but first and foremost on the inside. The outer elements have been dealt with by Christ, and the victory is in his right hand with power forever.

We, have a choice to want righteousness and holiness. To go after it like gold, like treasure, like the pearl of great price and to not quit until we have done all we can to have it.

If there are things of a corruptible nature, then there are more things of an incorruptible nature that we can have for ourselves.

Just because we have been reborn does not mean that there is no further work to be done and that Holy Spirit will do everything for us.

A continual putting off and putting on. Layers, seasons, depth, maturity, Godliness and Christ likeness.

If very little has changed in you over the years, shouldn't that be telling you something?

Learn from the parable of the ten virgins what it takes to go all the way.

Holy Spirit is the best guide, best tracker, smartest with the full faculty of genius at his disposal to help us on our journey.

As a friend of mine has said, "I used to believe in God and Jesus, but now I know them!"

Wrestling in the Garden

2009-10-26T20:45:00.001-07:00

At our men's group meeting tonight, after some fun at the pool table, our host and leader spoke about the prayers of Jesus at the time before his betrayal and eventually the execution.
During Jesus intense time of prayer he stops as recorded in the gospels, once, twice and then a third time according to Mark.
He speaks to his friends about watching and praying that they not succumb to temptation.
i began to think about some other thoughts, some of them i shared there tonight. This is what i thought about.
He knew what he was about to give himself to, but also he knew that there with him were the men who were going to carry the next events with them and how this was going to change the history of God's intervention with man for all time. Not only was he becoming the sacrificial lamb for the world, not only was he carrying all our sin and guilt with him, not only was he demonstrating the enormous love of the Father to all mankind, but he was to be betrayed by a friend and killed by the very people he had come to demonstrate the love of God to. Who only hours before he had been teaching and healing and casting out the demonic from those who were bound.
He foretold this event in the story of the vineyard and the workers who killed the son of the vineyard owner, speaking of himself and those who had been entrusted with the keys of the kingdom.
Here were a group of people, his friends who knew nothing of what the next hours were going to unfold, and who knew nothing of how they were going to react and run away and even deny knowing him.
These were the same people who would be used by God through Holy Spirit to change the course of history, beginning with a small speck of a nation and for the next few thousand years would impact the entire earth with a radical message of good news through the death of one man for all for all time.
The wisdom and at the same time seemingly foolishness of God to trust men with so phenomenal a task. He had to trust the fickle heartedness of mankind to carry out something so important, that had they known what they were doing and the ramifications... ripples in the stream of time, of what this was going to do in changing the divine order of the religious world as was known at the time. They may have failed completely had they seen the whole picture as was thought out in God's heart for what he was going to accomplish.
These men had a choice to wait it out for the next 50 days, together in a room or go back to what they were doing before and forget about it all. This was their moment of temptation. Do they really believe that Jesus was all and everything he had said, and that there was another encounter to behold in Holy Spirit?
i mean, what did they know of Holy Spirit? Where was there some evidence that this was going to happen and who or what was Jesus talking about?
They could have walked away.
God as a trusting Father allowed his hands to be free from any coercion. There was no mind games, no control, no changing the rules of free will. They could have stopped at any time and the plan of God could have fallen flat.
But it didn't and there was no failure, because God knew what was in the heart of each chosen individual, each as different as they come. He knew they could be entrusted with the greatest event this world has ever seen and will ever know until the return of Jesus in our very near future.
God's choice in creation was easy compared to these next days as he watched his only son walk down a pathway into the arms of hatred. His people, his heart, his passion for life and giving to mankind would be rejected and his heart in Father, Son and Holy Spirit would be broken and all his love thwarted for a time. Until mankind would see what really happened here and turn and repent and be welcomed back.
He still awaits his first love of the Jews to have their eyes and hearts opened.
i cannot speculate on what i might have done during those horrendous next few days to come. i was not there. i was destined for such a time as now. i was chosen to receive his gift of love to me at a specific time in my life. i had a choice to make and i said "yes to Jesus, i will follow you!"
That was over 34 years ago.
i like millions of others have been given a gift of Holy Spirit... the comforter, teacher, the one who directs and leads us into the truth and love of God the Father and glorifies the Son, Jesus of Nazareth.
i like these other men, Jesus original followers, was not coerced, controlled, manipulated, threatened, violated, pushed, nor demanded by religiosity to do what i chose to do. i chose to change my lifestyle and have a relationship with God as my heavenly Father because i wanted to. To be filled with Holy Spirit and have him join with my spirit and to love Jesus was also my choice. To walk in the spirit and be led daily by Holy Spirit, and to love God and others is my choice.
God writes the notes of the symphony, but we decide what we want to play.
He still entrusts life onto the hands and hearts of men.
i choose to trust my hands and heart to him.

Experience and the Upper room

2009-10-24T20:34:00.000-07:00

Experience and the Upper room.

The gauge to divine experience and the now of God, when nothing remotely close comes from heaven and stops at our door and we wonder why?

What are the vast differences?

The timing of history and the planting of the first Jesus followers assembly and a witness to the Jewish nation about a God who was changing the parameters of their box and burning the books of man made laws and the slavery it was putting His people into.

So of course there was a necessity of a shaking and tongues of fire and the first display of heavenly power since Jesus had now removed Himself from the stage and reappears in the other personality of the God head... Holy Spirit Himself is dropped onto a group of misfits and a mishmash of nobodies. Who by the way were in complete unison waiting for the next 50 days. There was a definitive statement to be made by God that He was going to do things His way... as Jesus said "I am the way, the truth and the life and no one comes to the Father except by me", through Holy Spirit, who would draw all men unto Him and point them to the truth.

They would have power to be His witnesses, and they were going to need it!

The next few centuries would prove that.

But still the continuation of refusal of the Jews to welcome this Messiah and His timing would become and still is their stumbling block to this day.

The next step was for a bona fide hard nosed young Jewish scholar to meet with an unusual experience one day as he was going about his business killing the followers of Jesus. Saul meets Jesus head on in a heavenly vision and is remarkably changed forever and suddenly the hardhearted Jews are passed over and God now turns His heart and grace on to the Gentile nations. Saul's name is changed to Paul, because once you have encountered Jesus there is no returning to the old you.

This was all foretold in old testament prophecy as God's grace is poured out upon all mankind.

The next incidents of power from on high touching the lives of Gentiles is seen and the experience is almost as strong as the first encounter. They too would need this power in their lives to assist them in seeing more of the world impacted by the gospel of Good News.

Paul himself taking this Good News to many nations and experiencing the personality of Holy Spirit in his life and through demonstrations of that power into the lives of others. Healing, deliverance, dead raised and so forth. This was all necessary for the gospel to impact their lives.

We are looking back on 2000 years of Christ's impartation of Holy Spirit. Throughout the centuries the Christian Church has experienced a diversity of architectural, structural, doctrinal differences, shapes, sounds, dressed up and dressed down. Everything imaginable has been built around, beside, over, and on top of the foundation carefully laid by Christ. He remains the cornerstone that cannot be shaken and everything that is attached to Him and His name will be shaken and tried by fire to see what will remain.

We consider the experiences of our faithful forerunners and we seemingly expect a similar rendition of the first symphony and that all the notes should align themselves to the order of our day. We played the tune but you did not dance?

I am reminded that these experiences were a surprise to those who found themselves in the midst of them at the time.

I do not believe that we need a carbon copy of something that was not designed for us and for the particular circumstances we are presently in. We need a NOW experience of God for the NOW we are in.

We are not building the Christian faith as they were. We are living it, if we are presently walking in and being led by Holy Spirit. The question is what are we doing with all that we do have in this present moment?

i have to ask myself; would an upper room experience really change anything about me? i have a relationship with God, i love Jesus and the word and i'm open to being led by the Spirit and to walk in the Spirit.

Do i need supernatural experiences? You betcha!!! i long for them always.

Do i receive them? i have had some powerful and awesome moments of His presence touching me, blessing me, loving on me, speaking to me, directing me, healing me, chastening me and times of Him asking me to be still.

If i look within myself for something from inside of me to empower me, that is other than Holy Spirit generated i will become disappointed and disillusioned. But if i remain steadfast in my faith and my security in Jesus work on the cross and Holy Spirit's careful direction for my life, i will feel the wind of His presence blowing, i will feel the shaking of all the things within me that are not part of Him, and i will experience the tongues of fire burning deep within my heart and the continued renewing process burning through my mind. In this i am content that He can empower me to meet the now for my life and i will have the boldness to continue being His witness in my world of influence.

So what does our world need most of all from us?

Our devotion of love to and for one another is the most powerful resource we have at our disposal and our willingness to soar like an eagle with prayer and intercession into the heart of God. Humbly standing in the gap for another and being the bridge of life for them to cross over.

Some men find God, some men know God, but Moses KNEW the WAYS of God and was called a friend. One of the greatest intercessors next to Jesus.

That is my goal, and to experience daily a waiting on Holy Spirit in my upper room.

To Be or Not To Be Who We Are Designed To Be

2009-10-06T21:05:00.000-07:00

We are:

Spirit: To Have NewLife>New Directive>New Personality>Connected

Disigned to abide in the vine, and receive revelation

Able to Comunicate with Holy Spirit

Raised to the life of our New Creation

Soul: Existing Character>Personality

Designed to become a unique individual

With a willingness to follow divine truth,

accepting the revelation of our spirit

For we are formed in Their image

Body: Shell>House>Temple

Designed to hold the Life Giving Fullness of God

A living witness empowered to enact the very essence

of the Godhead, in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,

goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control

Set apart from and rising above any binding law

A House of Prayer, A House of Blessing

An ever flowing River of Life

HE IS/I AM

Father: The Total embodyment of all creation/Everything>Omneity>

All Encompassing/Panoptical>All Inclusive

Son: Jesus>The Soul Complete Character of God come in the Flesh, for us

because of His Enormous Love

One and Only able to fulfill the Father's purpose

Holy Spirit: Fullness of the three>Breath of Life> Creator>Lover>Teacher>Fulfiller of the Father's Plans>Gift and Mercy Bearer>Who brings all this into us>that we might be like Him!

Given to us as a gift of grace set apart from laws

Mandated to fill the earth with like minded unique personalities

predestined to draw all mankind unto the Father,

through Jesus the Son

Making Sons and Daughters

of Intimate and Infinite proportion

In the Spirit

2009-10-06T20:39:00.000-07:00

unravelling the web

elastic thought

and bring coherent

revelation

to a slippery

surface

my feet

emerge

the wet

surface of dew drops

lingering

the air

calm

stillness

hanging before me

and

the presence of God

is here...

i lift my head

his whisper

caressing my ears

this voice

of calming morning mist

i am drenched

in this love

for me

saturated in a second

time has no meaning

my heart dances

through a kaleidoscope of colour

like jewels

brilliant

sparkling

overwhelmed with joy

an angel

touches my hand

we dance through the mist

until we both

disappear...

revelation and dream

dream and revelation

melt into one

my spirit

steeped

in the depth of love

i am

forever

changed...

2009-08-14T07:50:00.000-07:00

the mighty lion

a symbol of power and freedom

unless...

that power and freedom are captured and placed in a zoo

the only thing he can do here is assume the position

all other rights have been stripped away.

i find that there is a similar issue within the church today we have taken the power and freedom away from the very one who has given it freely to us.

Such a huge tragedy that men and women of God are handcuffed and placed behind a wall or fence and restricted from moving in the power of the Holy One, the majestic King of Glory.

There is an ever increasing unbelief that there is no power only a name.

i'm supposed to be endowed with the power of Holy Spirit in my life . A power to change me from glory to glory and for the fruit of the Spirit to be prevalent, having a freedom within me to be like a tree beside the river of life, bearing fruit in all seasons and conditions.

i am wondering about the ministries and ministers i have come to know that will have to answer for grieving Holy Spirit from doing all he was given authority to do. Will they have to answer to an angry God over their control issues and placing all effort into one aspect of the Kingdom business and pushing down the other features because they failed to see results in their own lives, therefore it must not exist for others.

How duped have we been by a liar and the one who can only go about "as a roaring lion", who's power was stripped away and made a public spectacle of before the whole world and heavens?

Col. 2:13-15 "He forgave all our sins, having cancelled the written code with all its regulations, that was against us, that stood opposed to us; he took it away nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them triumphing over them by the cross."

Today we seem to hardly have the power to rise up in our spirit just to praise such an awesome God and Father in Heaven who has done these things for us in Christ.

We are the temple... "let us come in through the gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise." Let this be alive in us continually.

God forbid that we become like those descibed in the last days in 2 Timothy 3.

In Isaiah 55:1, there is an invitation to the thirsty. "Come all who are thirsty, come to the waters: and you who have no money, come buy and eat! Come buy wine and milk without money and without cost."

There is another passage about buying in Rev. 3:17,18.

"You say I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing! But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve for your eyes so you can see."

i do not want to lose my thirst for more of the Kingdom in my life, nor to stop going after the treasures of Heaven.

What is the cost for us who have no money?

Drafting

2009-08-03T20:50:00.000-07:00

Writing

The pen is mightier than the sword someone has said... at this moment i can't recall who said it! It doesn't matter.

i write on my blog, because i can.

Whether anyone other than a select few actually read it matters not.

It helps clear my head of jumbled thoughts, hopes, dreams and it's a release for my inner person.

Things written don't have to make sense to anyone else. It can be good therapy.

While suffering as a younger man with depression, writing was one of the things that helped keep me sane, rescuing me from the torment pounding inside my head.

Artists, musicians, poets, sculptors; every sorted member of these type mindsets needs an avenue of escape for their particular unique vision, dream scape, an outlet for their creative genius.

We are fearfully and wonderfully made... Ps. 139

There was genius in our creation. This is such an understatement to our creator.

i am saddened by those who refuse to see this. They would deny their very own specific, unique, person, even the DNA that is impossible to duplicate and would rather accept a random throw of the dice and say this is creation and i'm just a human being, a mammal with no particular function but to live and to die.

The seagull is drafting the air alongside of the boat we were using as we returned from watching whales in the Atlantic ocean off the coast of Gloucester Mass.

He is closer to the will of God than i am, because he is doing perfectly what he was created to do.

He doesn't have to think about it, nor have a debate in his mind, nor choose good or bad at the beginning of his day. He doesn't have to prove himself to anyone or worry about being judged for the things he will do during the day or at the end of his lifetime. He exists to do the perfect will of God in all and every circumstance and is at the right place at the right time for his life to be complete.

And... the only work he has to do is get to where the food for this day is going to be provided for him. In this case where the whales were feeding and when he was finished he hopped a ride on the current of wind from our boat, drafting alongside for the 45 minute ride back to shore.

He is also fearfully and wonderfully made!

Woman in the water

2009-07-22T22:24:00.000-07:00

2009-07-22T20:51:00.000-07:00

Sunday

oh yes

i remember

a sudden

appearance

out of no where

a wall

i slam it

very hard

strange

i was not expecting

not at all

it left me

dazed

for days

why?

words

even great words

spoken

received

then

the

wall

what day

did

Humpty Dumpty

fall?

or was he

pushed?

We struggle at sorting out our soul and it's inclination to be down cast, thrown for a loop. Like falling from a bicycle while descending a steep grade; you're just a kid, but you remember every detail of the lashing you took from the gravel and still have the scars.

"Why are you down cast oh my soul..." David lamented more than once.

Is it because we chase after the heart of God? That very little on this earth has our attention or our heart. We pursue, we fall down, we get up to pursue again, we are pushed back only to arise again and again. We refuse to quit.

i made a comment about a young boxer who never made it out of the small time, who gets old but thinks he wants one more chance to prove something, but in the quandary feels he's running out of time.

The soul, is a trap. It's the realm the roaring lions dwell in. Where the roar is meant to strike terror, fear and displace all hope and turn you into a panicking disturbed blind, wounded, mindless, lame brained lackey. A servant of the wind.

"David a young man, reached down and picked up five smooth stones from the brook..."

It only took one... the prophetic utterance of the truth of God.

i am not a captive of my soul, but a champion of God's eternal word. A warrior, prophet, intercessor, priest of the Most High and deliverer of men.

Walls will happen, i temporarily forgot i was to jump over it.

We go down to the sea in boats

2009-07-21T12:43:00.000-07:00

Whales, off the coast at Gloucester, MA, July 4th.

What a great gift creation has given us... "only the fool says in his heart, that there is no God!" Proverbs

A superb day for viewing and experiencing whales during their feeding time.

2009-06-06T21:47:00.000-07:00

On the sixth month, the seventh day of two thousand and eight, two people came into a complete union of body soul and spirit.

We were met by the interaction of the most wonderful and beautiful Spirit of them all as He also joined Himself in and with us. An awesome precious friend and God.

As twelve months have passed, seemingly rather quickly we have seen before our eyes transformation in us both, as redeemed and sanctified by a super personal God, who has only our best interest in mind and on His heart.

He allowed us to meet, become friends first, husband and wife second, be part of a Spirit filled growing comunity of saints and surrounds us with great friends; only a few of many more to come.

We have watched Him move through our hands, mouths, hearts as we have been privileged to touch the special lives He has brought through our door or across our path.

Prayers have been answered, encouragements spoken, freedom for heart, soul and spirit.

We have come to observe His spoken words to us take root and grow fruit and feel His generous love, joy, laughter, presence and even angels coming to minister and bless our home from time to time.

We refuse to take for granted, the present time, age, place we live in and the community we abide with as an accident. There are no accidents with God. i have been tracking with Him for too long and know this as fact.

We are imperfect for the majority of our lives and He recognizes our shortcomings but is always ready to help make a way where there seems to be no way.

Hebrews chapter 11, is a testamony of the many saints before us who walked by faith, looking for their reward, believing, trusting, walking with God on a day to day basis. Anticipating while journeying into the unknown.

We have one life to live...

There is nothing so wasteful as to live it only for ourselves.

One year ago today i made a fresh new pledge, but everyday i am committed to the one He gave me, and really He gave me another part of Himself in her.

i fell in love with a woman that is the truth, and i also fell in love with more of God at the very same time; that is another truth. And in this truth we are more and more set free.

Father God you are so amazing, there are never enough words to capture just everything you are.

Thank you for this year in you, in me, in her, in us, in you, in them, and all of us in you.

HaHa HAHA HAHa HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA> HILARIOUS, i LOVE IT !!

Without End

2009-05-23T21:21:00.000-07:00

{by Photozoo}

what is left to carry me?

a dream

my mind is drunk

with emotion

thought

appetite

loss

disease

[bump]

i believed

i know

better

know better

[blindsided]

irrationality

erases

the ease

right out of

disease

[stop]

you are left

with

dis

and

dat's

all

[turn]

run

for God's sake

what does that mean?

chatter

laughter

[naked]

i embrace the unseen

i speak

and

i discover

i believe

[glorious]

there is no end

eternal

destiny

[lightspeed]

shifting

mindsets

to catch a phrase

not mine

a word

word

of life

[enter]

into

i find

buried in reality

mystery

particular to my

specific

allotted to me alone

a doorway

with my name

[pebble]

don't we know

it's time?

do it now

turn it over

find

out

who

we really are

[quest]

"seeking first

what is his righteousness

and all

these things"

substance of real life

"will be"

without end

[joy]

2009-05-16T20:55:00.000-07:00

{love this photo}

i have spent most of the last number of days writing an exhaustive exercise on the Lord's prayer, that should rightly be titled the disciples prayer. Simply because Jesus prayed a great number of prayers, and this was an example for them to apply.

It has been a fun venture, where i was able to compose 81/2 pages, by breaking the prayer into words, and word phrases. i ended up with 19 separate thoughts in paragraphs.

i love doing this type of writing. It stretches my mind and spirit.

i love writing on the word of God, because his word is something that is living. It never grows old.

His word is a great treasure. The more you dig and look the more you find.

Any serious bible studying pastor will tell you the same thing. They will say, "Wow!, I've never seen that before." A new revelation jumps off of the page.

When Jesus walked amongst men, he was the living, breathing, life form of the word of God made into a flesh man.

The book of John says this, "In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God and the word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.

The word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only, who came from the Father full of grace and truth." verses, 1-9 and 14.

In the same part of the chapter it tells us that he came amongst us, his own, as a man, but that they would not receive him or accept him.

That would be like God coming to my door, knocking, and i come to the door and tell him to get lost.

God often came to people in the form of an angel, a visitor, a man, a warrior and some people did not know at the time.

Many others did and were blessed because of the encounter.

Guaranteed; an encounter with God will change a life forever!

Don't believe me, ask him for yourself.

2009-05-10T20:40:00.000-07:00

weeping heart

within my breast

sadness for

a soul at rest

mournful cries

deep unto deep

to lay one down

in eternal sleep

One of our former pastors lost a son to a boating accident about two weeks ago. They had the memorial service last Saturday. Our congregation as well as many from about the globe who know Dennis and family all grieve together.

It is a greater sadness to lose a child, but especially one who loved God as Josh did.

i did not know him, but my heart was overtaken because i have a son the same age.

i got alone where i wept and wept.

2009-05-04T20:08:00.000-07:00

my head runs over with thought

red billiard balls

on a green surface

careening into one another

over and over

and over

i hurt inside

without an explanation

heaviness a shadow of darkness

covers part of my mind

sorrow has enveloped my soul

tears rise and fall

Jesus wept

for the Father

at the thought of Jerusalem

and the fate of his people

who would ultimately

reject him

God weeps through us

his thoughts so far above ours

our weaknesses

doubt, fear, suspicion

lack of love and intent

selfishness, greed, endless sorrows,

children, orphans,

famine and wars

tragedy, lost lives, waste

disease, garbage heaps, human lives

reduced to shambles and ghosts of men

death on every corner,

killing fields, row upon row

the smell a repulsion

many generations live and breathe it everyday

it's all they've known, hatred, shouting, gunfire

tears and sorrows

the blood of generations

screaming at him from the ground

his sorrow too deep

for any human to ever carry

while we dance and play

marry and feast

Jeremiah the prophet, the weeping prophet

knew the heart of God for Israel,

with every teardrop

redemption's rainfall upon the ground

now his heart is turned

to a whole world he weeps for

who are the next Jeremiahs,

to carry the burden of our God

to release the tears of redemption

for people we don't even know,

don't love or care for

a people of hardened hearts?

we say "i want, to be like Jesus!"

really... is that what you want?

then be prepared to weep,

be prepared to spend all night

in that secret place with him

sorrowful for a world at war

life is but a vapour

redemption for a world lost,

will cost a few tears

will cost some lost sleep

will cost friendship with God,

and to know his heart

when you are called to the mountain of God,

what will you take with you as a sacrifice?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2N59NnXXYDo

2009-04-28T20:27:00.000-07:00

Spring

The air is still unrelenting as we usher in the warm weather.

Temperatures rise for a day only to plummet again. Clouds fill the horizon, and spring rain showers beat upon the window.

The grass is slowly getting greener, and people are anxious to rake and attend flower gardens.

The winter here seemingly long and dragged out with the frigid air still holding on.

Hockey playoffs are on the TV.

Baseball has started another season.

Basketball finals also bidding for their fans.

Garage sales already popping up around the city.

House sales even in this economic climate are slowly rising, because prices are down slightly as with interest rates.

Many people anxious for a change to help ease the tensions over job security.

Department stores carrying sales over with more reductions.

But there are still line ups at the coffee shop drive through, and MacDonald's fighting for some of the Tim Horton crowd.

The world turns, the tides change, the seasons come and go.

We look at our watches and it seems that all is according to the day, the hour, the seconds.

Then we look again and ten years have sped past, zoom!

Amazing.

In our hands we posses nothing to change a thing; except, to change how we think.

We will always have the power to change that process. We have the power to do better. We have the power to make a difference in our life and perhaps at the same time be an example to others.

Time for our minds to be going green.

The only recession that comes to our own mind and heart is the one we allow.

The Kingdom of Heaven is not suffering loss, unless you choose not to be a part of it. That would be a loss.

Jesus is coming, not for those who believe in him, because even the demons believe and they tremble. He will be looking for those who truly know him.

As we enter a new season, why not enter into a new relationship.

Jesus, one of the most incredible people, who showed to us who the Father, creator God really is.

God has a plan and you are included.

It's so simple and absolutely flawless, he's a genius, but of course he is.

He made you, and you are the only one like you. 1 in 69 billion, go figure.

God and His Prophetic Voice

2009-04-20T20:44:00.000-07:00

{wind; stained glass, artist: Sylvia Laks}

i just came back from a prophetic teaching conference in Pennsylvania, where we had an awesome time. i went with a friend and we drove there about 8 hrs from where we are in Canada.

i love sitting under the tutelage of those in the know and filling my plate with the food they provide. So we came home with much food for thought and application. We have also met some key people and made some new friends.

i have had this gift in the prophetic for quite a long time. It has grown and matured in me over the years, to where i have been very comfortable in speaking into other peoples lives with words of encouragement and words of freedom.

i would call myself a seer/prophet who also receives dreams/visions, words and impressions. i have also in the past, over 10 years ago been doing prophetic intercession for a season. God had given me words and revelation about a certain church, a year prior to actually being a member there and then released me into prayer for that church.

Since then i have spoken with accuracy into numerous peoples lives and situations and been used to pray for specific release of God's power for people or places. When travelling throughout the US, it was not uncommon for me to pray and prophesy over a city or region i was driving through at the time.

According to the Apostle Paul in, 1 Cor. 14:1 "Follow the way of love and eagerly desire spiritual gifts, especially the gift of prophecy."

He encouraged this gift, as a necessary part of church life.

The gift has been neglected, shunned, despised and prophetic people have been misunderstood for generations.

According to a number of writers who have studied this gift, they have said that there are varying degrees and differences within the gift and give examples of known prophets of our day and the ways the gift operates within them. Jim Goll has researched and written much on these things.

The entire Bible is built around the prophetic word. The many different dimensions, examples, profoundness and even lots of the weird. But that's just God showing us that you cannot put him into a box.

i think it is so cool when i receive a picture, impression or word about or for someone. Their eyes light up or they begin to cry because of the love of God that touches them very powerfully, through something i have spoken.

He also reveals secrets within the heart so people get set free from wounds and hurts.

There are numerous applications to this whole realm of God knowledge.

i speak out what the heart of God wants to say and that is an awesome privilege.

Why does he use the mouthpiece of a man?

He chose us to carry out his will here on earth by bringing the Kingdom of God into the earth's midst. We have that spiritual dimension because we are spirit, soul and body. He is spirit, and we connect with him in spirit, and we are then able to speak into the spirit of one another.

Be encouraged and go for the gift.

God the Provider

2009-04-08T20:16:00.000-07:00

{artwork Erik Hollander}

Passover is almost upon us and my Jewish friends will be remembering what God did for them.

The promises kept.

Abraham takes son Isaac to the mountain, God provides the lamb, this will be remembered.

Jesus goes to the cross for us, it will never be forgotten the grace that is given to us when we did not deserve it.

Justification

Redemption

Santification

Forgiveness

Love

The shedding of innocent blood, all for us

Prophecy and Promise

2009-04-07T21:29:00.000-07:00

The Above is an artist's rendition of the cross and Christ upon it.

These types of displays are predominantly Catholic. This picture is from a Monastery and school in Austria, outside of Vienna, where we visited last summer.

The Monks originally came from France in about the 12th century. They were invited by the King at that time, who was a devout believer.

Austria has a strong Catholic influence that has remained for centuries.
i chose this photo only because the Christian church is about to celebrate Easter. Even though we know that this was not the time by calendar of the original happening.

In other denominations when you see a cross you do not see Christ upon it, for the simple reason that they celebrate the Resurrection as the primary importance of the Historical event.

We look at the whole life prior to his death, the introduction of God the Father, as seen through Jesus and the demonstration of his power and authority, and then his willingness to become the sacrifice on our account, demonstrating God's enormous love for us. But finally the power demonstrated by the Resurrection, that is the clincher for us who believe, because no other religion has a savior. Every other religion is based upon personal works, striving and qualifying yourself for an eternal reward.

No other religion hinges on the power of love from God to us and our love demonstrated back to him. God's plan for us through Christ, when you look at it objectively is incredible. It is so simple that it boggles the most sophisticated of minds. It is so simple that most people, even believers themselves miss it.

God set the power of love into motion. It came from his love for his creation. He then came himself in the person of Jesus, who by admission from the scriptures says he was not anything special to look at. He came from a non descript place in Israel at a particular time when the nation was under rule and occupied by Romans. He entered through a young woman, is born, raised with family, of no particular fame or name. Grew and was the perfect son and brought no attention to himself for 33 years.

He has a ministry that extends to within 70 miles (i'm probably too generous) for only three years. He is brought to trial by the local governing church, sentenced to death for no crimes, and a criminal in released instead of him. Hundreds of prophesies written about the messiah are fulfilled the day of his death. God demonstrates his power through the Resurrection and hundreds of witnesses prove it. A powerful occurrence happens 40 days later that has turned the world upside down even up to now.

Then you have a man named Paul, originally Saul, a Jewish teacher and Rabbi, who has an encounter with Jesus in a vision, suddenly stops what he was doing, killing the followers of Christ, and because of this encounter goes into seclusion for a time where God redirects him. He comes out and begins to preach to those outside of the Jewish community, the Gentiles, and sees the power of God affect their lives miraculously. From here comes centuries of the Christian church in all it's differences and form, right up to today, over 2 thousand years of history. The ramifications of the Christian church has had the greatest affect upon the educated world and influenced every walk of life. The standards and morals drawn from this one religion alone has shaped most of the greatest countries across the globe. And yet, "the fool in his heart will say there is no God."

The Apostle Paul who wrote most of the New Testament in his writing to the Ephesian church, says this in chapter 1 and verses 18 - 22

"I pray also that the eyes of your heart might be enlightened in order that you may know the hope in which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion and every title that can be given not only in the present age but the one to come. And God placed everything under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything, for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way."

This was written by a man who underwent incredible odds for the sake of the gospel. I don't think any one has had to endure the things he went through for the sake of sharing the heart of God for others. Oh yes he was writing while being held prisoner also.

The King of Kings comes and for us, he gives up his life, that we might gain our life through him.

What an awesome story that was only possible because of love.

(photo by my wife 07/08)

2009-04-06T12:35:00.000-07:00

OLD & NEW

Contrasting images.

We who follow after the heart of God have a wonderful experience that continues to take place within us throughout our whole lives, and that is the chance to be renewed continually. There is a power working within us in the word of God that is rich with life because it is a living word and because we are a part of the living word, agreeing with it, living surrounded by it and having a birthplace in two arenas of life. That of the natural world around us and being born of a woman, and then a new birth of being born from above.

Jesus when talking to a member of the Jewish ruling council, whose name was Nicodemus, said to him you must be born again to enter into heaven. This was a new saying for the Jewish man, and thought, how is that to happen, do I have to reenter my mothers womb, I am old, what are you saying?

Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, no one can enter the Kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit..." (see John 3:1-17)

We are much like the buildings we live in, work in and are surrounded by.

We are like them in this, that we must be built upon a solid foundation, one that no matter what the circumstances happening in the weather, especially where we live in the four seasons with it's multifaceted extremes. The building has to withstand everything according to it's surrounding climate.

You would not take a building design from here and built it the same way in Hawaii.

In the Christian community there are many different denominations but the same foundation. They are built upon the word of God and of Jesus Christ as the chief cornerstone, and we are built as living stones into that foundation. The differences being in doctrine.

When our forefathers, both in Canada and the US, were drafting up the constitutions and separation of church and state were brought into being, it was designed so that there would allow this diversity of religion. They knew that this was necessary to avoid some of the past governments being ruled by the church, an example being when the Catholic church in the early centuries had a strong ruling arm and made sure that they could wield that power at will. This type of power was not a government of the people, that was seen by our fore fathers as the proper way to govern. But at the same time these men, who almost all were believing and practicing Christians of one denomination or another also knew the importance of God being involved in their lives and so prayer and the reading of the Bible was a priority. They knew the importance of a foundation in Christian principles.

We are all the better off because of the decisions made on our behalf only a very short time ago.

The Christian church around the globe is about to celebrate the wonderful event of Easter and the Resurrection of Jesus.

Awesome and ever new with every passing year.

"For God so loved that..."

(photo Down town Toronto, by my wife, who has a keen eye)

Stop This Thing, "i'm Getting Off!"

2009-04-01T20:33:00.000-07:00

Life can look and feel like we are just spinning. One place doing the same thing over and over without end.

Stuck in the dark with a little light shining around our little space, while the world seems to go by beneath and around us without giving notice to us at all.

This can be the norm for most people, but within the Christian walk, there is this trap also.

We just finished a book in our small group that was reminding us that, "we are at war!"

There is a war for domination of our hearts. You take out the heart, that life beating desire, energy, spontaneity, likes, wants, needs, dreams, vision, joy, peace, right attitude, love for life and it's good pleasures, and love for God and what do you end up with? A heavy yoke of strain and lifelessness, that will take you to an early grave and keep you from truly experiencing what God wants for you.

It will lead you to become the walking dead.

The heart is at the centre of life, God knows it and so does the destroyer of all that God has for us in Christ. We need to fight for and preserve the life that is intended for us and for those around us.

i would invite you to read John Eldredge's book, "Waking the Dead" and a great follow up to it by the same author is "Walking with God."

Now we are going to follow up this book with "Praying by the Power of the Spirit" by Neil Anderson. i am reading through it now and as a student and person of prayer, i was quite intrigued with some of his insights. There is always more to learn.

i am looking forward to and excited about sharing this book with our group and seeing all our horizons expanded.

(Photo Vienna Austria, giant ferris wheel, 07/08, by my best friend Hella)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Being laid up with an injury for the past few months has had me contemplating my next move.

Surgery, yes or no? Live with the pain and problem. Sustained nerve and reflex damage that will not be corrected by surgery.

Will not be able to continue life at the pace i was used to and be doing the strenuous work i had been doing.

i'm not interested in living on pain killers for the rest of my life just so i can get around.

So i need to learn how to best manage the pain and move on.

i remember my mother telling me after she was in a car accident shortly after i was born, that the Dr's said she had little chance of walking again due to the injury to her back. She proved them wrong.

i get a lot of my stamina from her, i have a high tolerance to pain that has helped me and a stubbornness that does not bend easily to injury.

God has been awesome in blessing me in my body in the past, so i have a faith that arises also.

There is just too much to say about that, this particular injury and time in my life and his getting my attention, that i know great things are yet to come my way.

i have been taking a more serious interest in furthering my education and getting a degree for ministry, that would fulfill some dreams i have had and let die. (there was an attack on my heart that wanted to kill all of that, God has a better idea.)

So having to stop, literally what i was doing and reevaluate my life has been good.

i am researching an on-line school, with accredited and recognized courses to get my degree and further if i so desire. This is something i have wanted to do for a very long time.

As the saying goes, "good things come to those who wait", but "better things" come to those who love God and put him first!

Yahoo! LOL

2009-03-26T21:00:00.000-07:00

Restoration A Process

from broken spirit to life from Jesus the love of God comes to me

changed in an instant from blindness to sight

from lameness to life

from broken to repaired, restored

from captured to one set free

healed in one second as he breathed on me

time is meaningless as life begins at the beating of his heart

his word, his Spirit hovering, he looks and sees that it is good

it is very good.

who can know him, hold him, embrace him?

he is wind, he rides upon cherub wings

he is wine and bread, water and wind living in timeless existence

that he alone understands, he created it

there is no barrier to hold him,

who shall build a dwelling place for him?

he is endless upon endless upon everlasting love

words are not enough, experience is not enough,

imaginations are too small to describe such a one as he,

an awesome God.

he comes to me, words on wind, words of wind

wind words hovering, creations breath in every whisper

ever so slowly, gently, fathering me with fire words

passion, love, embracing my heart, spirit.

Now his rushing wind of presence into my space

filling, lifting, piercing me through and through

i am helpless sails on a ship, i just let go

engulfed in what is unseen and yet there and everywhere

i am saturated, i am breathless, i am and I am.

i an eagle high upon a perch, and now catapulting

wings out and out and out, stretching reaching as far as i can

i want every breath of wind, riding, gliding, soaring,

pouring myself into this joy, now effortless updraft upon updraft

higher and higher living for these moments, days, months, years

fulfilling my purpose in life to bring him joy.

he wants me to ride his winds, always new heights, new winds

new life, new purpose, and the wind i knew a second ago is gone.

i wait once again, looking, listening, eyes open, ears perked

day upon day with intent,

for i am created for his glory, and good pleasure to enjoy.

In his presence is fullness of joy and at his right hand are pleasures forever more.

Feb. 05 rewritten March .09

2009-03-21T21:09:00.000-07:00

Steady as we go.Holding the course.

Our winter session for our home group came to an end on Friday with a social evening of sharing some food, laughter, and prayer.

Out of 32 groups for the winter session, there were lots to choose from. Ours was designated to 30+ singles and we studied a book about the heart by John Eldredge. (of which i had written in the past.)

i think we all were affected in one way or another and blessed.

John Eldredge has written many fine books, this being one of them.

Next session will start up after Easter and go till June.

We will decide what direction we are going, as i've ordered some books to view and get a feel for where to take us.

This week at the church brings us to a special happening called; Three Days in His Presence. People will contribute time to prayer and fasting and meeting with God. There will be a focus from music, worship, praise, adoration, prayer, intercession, all to entreat God's special visitation on behalf of our community, city, surrounding area, province and country.

We have great expectation and know that God's heart is to affect people. He is so in love with us all and really desires to bring his glory into our midst. He's awesome, there is no one like him. We are totally in love with him and we have no reservation about sharing him with others.

When Jesus was here he showed us the heart of the Father and we gained a wonderful insight into his person. He lavishes his love on us, wants to see us free from things that would harm us, bind us, control us, damage us, kill us with diseases or crippling our health.

i have not regretted, that at 18 yrs of age i made a decision to follow him. Had i not, i might very well be dead right now. i am a better person, worker, citizen, and no one has been twisting my arm or threatening me with beatings or anything else. i do what i do because i want to, because he is easy to love and when you love someone you don't want to hurt that special someone.

It's now some 36 years later and not without its mishaps and failures. Out of weakness comes strength and foolish things to mess with the heads of the so-called wise.

As most of you awaken tomorrow and the sun lights up the sky, you won't be thinking about creation, or the big bang theory, or Darwinism, or what can i do to make someone else's life easier. No you'll be looking for your coffee, hoping no one will tick you off or get in your way so your day can serve you.

All the while he will be addressing ways to get your attention and he has done that throughout every day of your life.

Thank you Lord!

(photo: waiting on the bridge at Sarnia, ON, before heading south. L.)

2009-03-17T21:12:00.000-07:00

i was re-listening to a past sermon at our church by Larry Randolph, who came for a couple days in November, to share some things with us.

Don't despise transition.

All of us have heard the story of butterflies before and their metamorphosis from worm to cocoon to transformation into some of the most colourful of God's creation.

He parallels the Christian life, and our struggle. We eat and eat and eat, prepare, prepare, prepare, struggle, struggle, struggle most all our lives.

Some of us make it and some of us don't.

He spoke about many scientific studies with different stages of the insect and how environment plays such a huge roll in our development. Who we are surrounded by, who is leading, going in circles and starving to death.

We should be excited about transition, the squeezing, molding, growing up, development, character, becoming the real church.

Many times God forces change, simply because we don't want to, are not willing to change.

The cocoon is a special length of time, like a child in a womb. Designated time for 9 months to complete the process. This 9 months to us could be 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years.

The birth process is messy, and usually loud.

Discern: the spirit of religion could have you bound to old stuff, past, dead, unwilling to move into something new.

God is a God of the positive, linear, progressive, does not live in the past.

Joshua and Caleb got hold of God's thinking, while the others were stuck.

Jesus spoke in Jn 14, about not letting our hearts be troubled or afraid, right before he went off to be crucified. Something new was about to happen and Peter had tried to stop him when he said, "get behind me Satan".

Positive thinking sends the right chemicals through our bodies and promotes health and well being. Phil. 4, Paul encourages us about the things we should be thinking. We should be talking God talk not our talk.

God's truth is absolute but it is also progressive, developmental, growth faceted and we should always be ready for the unfolding of God.

Museums have a museum mentality. God doesn't live in a museum.

God is extraordinary, extravagant and we need this to pour out of the church. The church is filled with God likenesses, creative, incredible people who should be leading the world.

During economic uncertainty Joseph rose to his destiny, his blessing.

There are gold fish that will grow within the confines of their specific environment and no more.

Jn 3:16 "For God so loved the WORLD", not just mankind.

The church has the ability to change the landscape.

We are each a unique piece of God's personality, a special individual given the ability to think God thoughts, with Godly mindedness and each of us have a place and are needed to fill it. Enough of us together with the courage to enter into the provision of God, and who knows what could happen. We are given permission to succeed.

(These thoughts were taken from my notes on the subject)

Dreams and Winds of Holy Spirit

2009-03-08T20:49:00.000-07:00

Right Where i Belong!

i was reviewing some past journaling from .05 and came across some dreams i had written down.

One was about being in a vehicle with my Father and a building, like a fort with a blue roof , and what appeared to be white stone walls. The building stuck out and had some significance.

i moved in the winter of .06, January, to where i am now, because of a relationship here. Not thinking that this dream might have meaning. As i re-read these pages again a few months ago i realized a couple of things.

But let me back up a bit.

The relationship grows and i re-marry, but before that happens we (new wife and me) sense the need to seek out a different church for our growth and after some months of searching come to a decision (with the help of some revelation) on The Embassy. This is Nov. 07. A month later the pastor speaks prophetically to us on a Sunday morning, from the pulpit before dismissing the congregation. He gives us a very encouraging word, and we feel right at home.

Now, sometime near the end of summer .08, i notice that the roof of the church is blue, and the walls are brown brick and another section is white. So it has two sections. The building in my dream has two sections also. Suddenly the dream comes into focus in my mind, and i connect the dots.

i have had other prophetic dreams and what is known as open visions, where you are awake and see things. This goes back to well over ten years now, so i try to remember all i can of dreams as i awake. Sometimes the scenes are very vivid and easy to remember and other times not so.

i had one significant dream about a friend of mine a number of years ago. i wrote down the particulars and shared it with him. It was right on!

i have not really studied much on dreams over the years, as there was not a lot of writing about them from a Christian perspective. Now that is changing and i have some great friends who have written a couple of books and teach and speak on the subject. There is a growing acceptance of their importance in the role of the church now.

We see throughout the Bible dreams, visions, prophetic symbolism etc. God uses different means to speak and get our attention. Everyone knows the story of Joseph the dreamer and his brothers, as so with John and Revelations.

But unfortunetly, many clerical people have dismissed the moving of the Spirit and His input .

God is in the encouraging business. He enjoys blessing us and also giving us small pieces of the puzzle as we journey along with Him. When we figure it out and get the picture, we sometimes go, "man that is so cool!" "Thank you God!"

It's all written down for us, that we will see visions and we will dream dreams.

(beautiful stained glass, artist Sylvia Laks)

Where dreams Began

2009-03-07T20:45:00.000-08:00

(Photo Isle of Skye, Scotland)

In My Stead

i found these hands inside my head

removing all the words i'd said

i said, to these hands, i said,

"get to the outer side of my head

oh for sure for soon you're dead.

for what's inside me is mine", i said

"my words, my thoughts, i am fed,

all mine well versed and well read!

what's mined is mine in mind ahead."

founding the find of golden mined

thoughts from old and new and bread

the life giving life bearing treasure bed

wisdom, revelation, heart eyes lead,

and heart eyes agreements bled,

for my sole whole was stead

for i am counted amongst the dead

freed from a dismal life of dread,

free to mine the mind of said

a mind well said as i be lead

on my account he set forth bled

such love i love forever said.

past agreements we be said

to our future they be wed

with death's destruction they are bred

to silence golden words of said

to take you down to death's dark bed

you'll find your mind in darkness lead,

the said be set, and be said

these sticky hands inside your head,

on an angry course of curses fed

to empty heart, soul, spirit's breath

in death, foul death, without regret.

their mission from the darkness lead

with every sulphur stinking breath

whispers dripping deepest dread

with hatred laced and hatred fed

bent on derangement of one who bled,

on our behalf to save thus said.

from agreements i am shed

through confession of all been said

and to the cross is nailed instead,

past, present, future credited.

2009-02-26T20:38:00.000-08:00

Life's Journey(s)

i don't know about you, but;

i have had numerous interruptions, crushed dreams, experiences, changes of course, and many times in mid-stream. i have crossed mountains, deserts, plains, valleys, forded rivers, dams, hiked trails, rode bicycles, rode trains, driven a multitude of trucks, cars, motorcycles, jeeps, heavy equipment, passengered small and large aircraft, ridden on ferries, operated boats, paddled canoes, even tried sailboarding, trekked and rode my way here and there for many years.

i've been neurotic, depressed, oppressed, stoned, drunken, sad, extremely lonely, crazy, angry, introverted, proud, boastful, arrogant, stupid, wise, inventive, destructive; i've cried, screamed, been heartbroken, tired, bored, busy, hated my job, hated myself, hated others for what they had done or said to me, i've been at the bottom, burnt out, forgotten, misunderstood, misdirected, mystified, mismatched, and mismanaged, injured, sick, wounded, hospitalized, and almost died; been a father, husband, lover, friend, and enjoyed a few chosen friends.

i've slung manure, rode horses, chased sheep, cows, owned dogs, cats, had at one time, monkeys, snakes, lizards, toads and other reptiles share my home. Been bit by numerous dogs, clawed and scratched by other things, kicked by, stepped on, and threatened by horses.

i've worked on the railroad, construction, sales, photography, cleaned, operated bulldozers, loaders, excavators, all sort of trucks, worked with dynamite, dug ditches, trenches, lay sod, lay pipes, strung electric wire, plumbing, hammered nails, felled trees, sawn logs, split wood, did carpentry, sold cars, worked retail stores, run forklifts, managed warehouses, installed wood stoves, repaired cars, trucks, equipment, seen livestock slaughtered, cleaned horses hooves, raked and shoveled dirt, directed loaders, excavators, bulldozers, trucks, loaded hay wagons, driven farm machinery, slung milk cans, hoisted hay bales, flown in overloaded aircraft, built and repaired hunting camps.

Gone fishing, in all kinds of weather, boating, trolling, shore casting, stream fishing, cleaning, camping, making fires and cooking the catch. Run rapids, cruised the lakes, portaged the trails and high hills, drank the water, seen crystal clear lakes, swam, skinny-dipped, got dumped, almost drown, fell in a large eddy, got hoisted out by an angel. (not everybody can say that) Chased wild turkeys, caught snapping turtles, handled guns.

i've photographed wildlife, many, many many people all over the country, in churches, homes, restaurants, halls, golf courses, riversides, parks, on horses, wagons, sleighs, with animals, dogs, horses, cars, trucks, buses, hockey, baseball, soccer players, people in markets, foreign places, beautiful children, brides, scenery, sunsets, sunrise, storm clouds, derelict buildings, musicians, artists, artwork, almost anything.

i've written poems, stories, study guides, shared prayers, and helped others learn to pray, and taught deeper intercession, spoken and have seen people healed, set free, encouraged, laugh, find their life, their dreams, and find intimacy with God, as well as experienced his directness, closeness, the heaviness and lightness of his presence, love and best of all his forgiveness.

Of all the other things i've had a part in these last few outweigh anything and everything i could have ever imagined doing in my life.

i only want for more of this type of living, to give away the life that i've been given, with all it's gifts to share, and love from the heart of God flowing out through me!

That will be the absolute best!

(Photo 12th Century ruins, Austria .08)

2009-02-17T20:36:00.000-08:00

And now for something completely different!

Every one has a story, or two or three.

Where they've been, what they've seen and so on.

Some are interesting, and then there are the down right lies because the teller always wanted to be someone else.

We all do it one way or another. We get involved in a good book or movie and become transformed into the character.

Remember when you were a kid, you let your imagination whisk you away. You were a cowboy, then an Indian, Robin Hood, a valiant knight riding and dueling with the forces of evil or a dragon slayer. There was no stopping you.

You could jump from one stage to another and never miss a beat. You had great friends with whom you shared a camaraderie and went to war with. Someone was always the bad guy and there might have been a traitor or two in the bunch. You all got to trade parts and have fun. Sometimes but not very often it got a bit too serious, and somebody went home crying.

The backyard, the street, an old building, the barn, or even a railway car could become the stage. Amazingly enough you were having so much fun that rarely did anything bad happen. Oh there was a fall here or there, a scraped knee, a banged up arm, or a bump on the head but it was all laughed at when the day ended and you couldn't wait to start a new adventure tomorrow.

i was the one they called the day-dreamer all through grade school.

A lot of adults, especially boxed up, toe the line teachers who didn't know how to harness and help those with vivid imaginations ended up being the dream crushers. They didn't understand, didn't want to understand and could care less if your heart got wrecked through their use of demeaning words. At the end of their day they wanted results on paper, and it was their way or the highway, to steal a phrase.

Many a great person, when you look at their stories started off with a learning curve. i don't have to go into names here, anyone in the know has heard the stories shared by those who were dreamers. Many who were told time and time again you will never amount to anything until you grow up and get serious. i had a friend who was a suffering dyslexic who became a psychologist.

Then there were and still are the ones who are so far ahead in their thinking that it will take a few decades to catch up.

There were empires here centuries ago that we are still trying to figure out how they did the feats they accomplished and with such accuracy, both mathematically and scientifically.

Where did these thoughts, ideas, spring out of? Active imaginations, dreams and staring off into the distance and wondering if this would work or this or that?

If it were not for fresh thinking, people living outside of the box, to steal another phrase, dreamers and idea people, we might still be writing on the walls of a cave somewhere.

Today adults, are designing games for the computer, or PlayStation or Gameboy. They design them for others who missed some of their childhood and need this escape to regain what got put aside. Some get too far into it and lose themselves, but for the most part they bring some joy.

My step-daughters husband is an owner in an animation company and gets to play at something he loves all day. They have a top of the charts program running in the US, second year in a row.

Don't we all wish for that dream job, or not to have to work at all. We're dreaming about winning those millions, that our ship would come in, that the government would suddenly realize they owed you some money, you'd get that inheritance, and so on and so on.

So in one form or another we're still dreaming, still imagining, still gazing off into the clouds.

So why is it that we stop when it comes to the things of God? Suddenly there is a road block in the mind. A seriousness takes over and we cringe, like death is around the corner or something.

Come on!!

Take a long hard look around and tell me there wasn't some kinda serious imagination going to work behind the scenes to have a creation like the one we live in? And a great sense of humor too!!

Just look at all the things you personally reflect on, that really grips you, from the vast universe, planets and stars, comets and all the cool stuff going on in space. To the waterfalls, sunsets, beautiful oceans, and whales and colors of fish and on and on and on, to mountains and deserts, awesome rivers and all kinds of birds of the air.

We have all said, "man i'd love to be an eagle, WOW!"

Take a read through the book of Revelation and get a look at some heavenly creatures and the layout of Heaven and tell me God didn't put something into the minds of man, that has a part of him in us.

Man thinks, at least a number of theologians think they have God cornered. They have everything figured out, by rationalized thought. They will have the rest of eternity to see just how far off and wrong they were. i want to see their faces when they meet him, it will be priceless.

Not as far reaching and world changing as men in our past, i have a dream too! And with the help of the one who gave me such a great imagination, i will accomplish it also.

When the dream fits wear the shoes and try to not forget where it came from.

2009-02-16T13:57:00.000-08:00

Retrospect

i never met a bear i didn't like.

i had a bear skin once. A friend of mine had to shoot the bear outside of their lodge, because he was becoming a nuisance and he was concerned for his customers. This being a fly-in lodge in Northern Quebec.

He told me the story of sitting on the roof of the lodge waiting for him to come to the trap they had set up with some smelly fish.

He also told me about the moonless night before, when the bear was out behind the lodge.

There is a road between the lodge and a steep hill that runs along the road going east and west for about a 1/4 mile. There are many small trees and rocks and the rest is scrub bush, with the exception of some tall pines on it. Down the road to the left is the old sawmill and some derelict vehicles and a couple of boats. To the right the road curves left and away from the lodge to an opening where the generator is, with one of the few lights that break up the darkness. But the hill obscures any light on the road behind the lodge. About the only sounds you would hear are a couple of loons on the lake, some frogs in the distance, and the quiet drone of the generator.

The bear was being noisy as he climbed up on the back of the old truck where the garbage was.

Upon hearing this my friend grabbed the gun, a flashlight and ran out the door of the lodge, down the steps and around the corner of the building towards the truck.

He heard the bear jump off the truck and go towards the hillside and stop. It was so dark that the flashlight barely lit up the sites on the gun. He could hear the bear breathing, sniffing the air and he could smell him, but he couldn't see him. Waiting for a few moments he thought this was useless. He then realized he was standing there in sock feet and no shirt on. He'd have to come up with another plan.

The next night brought the same occurrence, but he had a little surprise set up. His young assistant and himself sat on the roof with a large landing light from an old airplane. Connected to a truck battery for power they flicked it on as he got a bead on the back of the truck. BANG!!

The loud gun shot echoed across the lake. The bear jumped from the truck and took off up the hill going about 200 ft before dropping. He had made a perfect shot and was surprised at how far the bear had run.

It was a young black bear around 300 lbs, of whom i became the owner of his skin.

Of all the times i flew up there and spent time on the trails, fishing, building, hiking and the like. i saw one large moose, but never a bear. This bear skin was as close as i was going to get.

2009-02-16T11:48:00.000-08:00

(A card, add words from my heart, a particular bottle of wine, a movie, and a special dinner out)

Valentine's Day

Just another great way to spend some quality time and share your heart once more with the one that is so special.

For me the special one is my best friend and beautiful wife.

Like Christmas, Birthdays and Valentine's, it's never a last minute thing. i like to put some real thought and love into the things i do for her.

In a special relationship, like the one we have, doing something special or engaging is an almost everyday occurrence.

i believe it can be in any relationship, with friends. You simply put others ahead of yourself as much as that is possible and the rewards are enormous.

We've all seen the looks and felt the joy when you touch another heart.

The greatest and best feelings of joy i have encountered have been distinctive or unique because God has set up these moments. And sometimes a moment is all it takes with him. Then there have been those specific intervals that you look back on and know there was no mistake in that, that he put his heart and Spirit into it.

i know he set in motion the road of love for my wife and myself, that there was no coincidence here.

This was our first of many Valentine's Days to come as husband and wife. But with God in the centre almost everyday has that same flavor to it.

i hope you can experience the same.

2009-02-11T20:05:00.000-08:00

Doors, Gates, Handles & Latches

It seems that there are always doors, windows, holes, roads, highways, streams, passages, entrances and exits to this life. We are either entering or we're leaving, while passing others along the way.

We enjoy the entrance of new life. We celebrate with friends and family. The demise of older life is expected but still hard to bear.

The extinguishing of life for no reason, unexpected illness, accident, suicide or by murder or ruthless war, resonates and leaves us empty.

At these times choices are made, some by force, a new road to a new life, leaving what you had behind. Travelling to a different place, perhaps across an ocean. None the less, another journey begins. Starting all over perhaps, with only the clothes on your back.

Families divided because parents have died. Loss of one parent places a financial strain on everyone else. Loss of a home and family through a natural disaster. These are all part of reality.

We live in a safe place much of the time. We have escaped the ravages of war, famine, genocide, and Holocaust. Natural disasters seem to happen in other places than right here.

We wake up in a home where three meals, clothing, money, are a second thought. Our children are educated, our churches are safe from storm troopers. Our borders don't have armed guards in military uniforms with machine guns and dogs. There are no check points on every town and city roadway.

We can speak what we want, when we want and to whom we want at anytime night or day. There are no curfews, no one looking over our shoulder. You're not worried about your neighbour or co-worker spying on you. Reporting any suspicious movements to authorities. There are no threats, not on your street, your neighbourhood, your town, as far as you are aware.

But there is a different kind of threat. It is growing and has been growing in N. America for centuries. It grows larger in number with each generation.

Every generation makes a choice of the route it desires to take.

Every new government brings us closer to chaos by the decisions that get accepted. Laws are passed behind closed doors, or with the acceptance of a select few.

Suddenly and out of nowhere your rights dwindle and the people lose control because they chose to let someone else do their thinking for them. Their laziness and apathy sold the farm and they were left with a pile of horse crap.

The nice life gets left behind and you are now out on a slippery road, that soon becomes a huge muddy hole.

We think, come on that's only in the movies, not here, no way!

What would it take to open our eyes to how bad it could change in 24 hours or less? We don't have a clue. Governments have toppled overnight, let alone natural disasters.

When Catrina wiped out most of New Orleans, people had seen storms before.

When the tsunami hit in western Asia, it happened in moments.

What if it rained nonstop from April to December and crops weren't planted. No planting, no growth, no harvest.

You think it's difficult with the economy now?

All the reserves would be eaten up and there would be nothing to sell to other countries.

No way not here, everything always works out.

History sometimes has a way of repeating itself, in one form or another. Before the great depression, some very bad choices were made, by some so called "very smart people."

Tell me where your faith is? Tell me who you're trusting? Tell me who your money is on should the bottom fall out?

I know, let's not open that door.

Let's all make believe that we will live and let die and can't touch me.

There was a prophet that the King of Israel hated, because he would never say anything good about him, while all the others lied to his face, and tickled his ears, giving him what he wanted to hear.

There is a saying, "the more you lie to yourself the more you believe it's really true."

The farm is not sold yet, but we sure are standing in a huge pile of crap.

Enter through the narrow gate. Another choice.

"You can enter God's Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to destruction is broad and it's gate is wide and many choose that way. But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few find it."

Matthew 7:13-14

If only a few find it, that must mean that there is something to be looking for. We would rather have found that winning loto ticket, because at the heart of it we are all selfish.

Laziness always wants the easy way out, with the least amount of work, and the most amount of reward.

(photo by Heidi H.)

2009-01-26T13:09:00.000-08:00

i am taking part in a small group through our church and we are reading and commenting on a book, "Waking the Dead", John Eldredge.

The book's central theme is about the onslaught of life trying to take control of and eventually snuff out your heart, so you become this blinded non-feeling one-celled blob of body and mind absorbed into the vast expanse of nothingness. So you become someone who doesn't question anything anymore.

He uses many quotes and antidotes from films, such as the Matrix. Like the photo above. Not everything is as it seems, there is something else going on here. Remember, Alice in Wonderland and the Wizard of Oz. For you sci-fi buffs, Dune, Total Recall, The Thirteenth Floor and so on.

We are at war, and that war is for the protection of your heart.

Most of us go through life never really giving much thought to the strange things that may happen to us. We simply agree that, "well that's the way things go, or oh well, could have been worse".

The author brings about a convincing argument. The subtleties of life that sneak up on us and "WHAM!"

This is written of course from a Christian perspective and if you know anything about your Bible, you would soon see the significance.

But even those who are not taken to serious Christian lifestyle would have to admit, there is something worth investigating here.

i remember reading the Screwtape Letters when i was a young man and being fascinated by C.S. Lewis's imagination and mind stirring impact it had.

If you are a student of the Bible at all, you will soon discover that the heart is talked about throughout, from cover to cover. God has a strong vested interest in our hearts. Where they have been, what has happened to them, what is filling them, what they dwell on, where their attention is focused. Do they need refreshing, healing or even made anew?

"For where your treasure is that's where your heart is also." Mt.6:21 (emphasis mine)

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart" God, Jer. 29:13 (emphasis mine)

2009-01-20T19:54:00.000-08:00

January Days

Days linger

snow

frosty air

hangs

crisp cold

January breath

holds you

in it's grasp.

You dream

warm sunshine

calm breezes

oceans shore,

awakening

just in time

the snow plow

roars past

on a mission.

You resume

talking

to the heater,

"come on, come on"

your breath

inside fogging

the windshield.

Icicles

hanging crystals

on every other

house.

Pedestrians

scurry along

narrow pathways

bundles of multicolored

bodies bobbing

in a snow white

hinterland

destinations

unknown.

An almost

too warm home

awaits you

radiators

belching

constant heat

the tropics

you get to enjoy

momentarily,

before stepping out

again into

January days.

(photo of barn, mine)

2009-01-12T14:45:00.000-08:00

The Path that leads to life.

How easy it has become for us to take the path of least resistance. Why?

Probably because we are all, for the most part lazy.

There is a saying written down by God, about seeking him and finding him if, you will seek him with ALL your HEART.

What does our heart have to do with where we walk, what path we take?

You have heard it said about athletes putting their heart into it and winning. When you lose heart you lose everything.

We want to put our heart into our relationships, marriage, family, friendships, our jobs, career, vocation.

As a musician you need your heart to be passionate about the music for it to flow from you and touch others.

The artist is the same, pouring their heart into their creation. The craft, work of their hands.

All of us will agree that we have at some place in our life had a close to spiritual encounter with nature, and were wowed by our surroundings, mountains, valleys, ocean scene, touched whales, swam with dolphins, or went to a place hardly touched by man. It forever remains etched upon our hearts.

There is an absolute necessity for our hearts to continually be stimulated by something or someone, so our existence makes a margin of sense.

Why do we want to argue that it seems too impossible for a creator, artist, musician, lover of all things beautiful and the very one who gave us life and to each of us a gift of himself, do we want to believe be nonexistent?

Instead we'd rather choose an improbable theory , an irrational accumulation of unclear jumbled numbers which is also another theory that out of chaos came undeniable mathematical structure and complicated balance in a complete universe.

The fool, in his heart says,"there is no God!"

i would rather believe in a creator who put his heart into everything around us,that we might have and enjoy and then poured us into his mould and gave us the ability to choose, to make a decision in our heart, to believe or not, all the while his creation shouts to us of his existence.

What a great God and he doesn't stop there. He will try everything he can to help you to encounter him, in one way or another.

Why would you want to choose another path?

2009-01-06T13:38:00.000-08:00

It would be wonderful to understand all mysteries. The ins and outs of our lives as we journey on our way to the mountain of God.

Death comes many times by surprise and having suffered an infant death as a young man and a young Christian believer, doesn't make the experience any less painful.

All we can do is hold tight to the truths we have come to understand and hold the hand of the person next to us and press into the bosom of our God. We mourn shedding the tears from our broken heart over the issue of death that has caught us completely unaware.

We also draw upon the strength of others who have joined us in our time of grief and listen to their words of comfort or their wordless comfort of just holding you close. Sometimes there is just nothing that can be said.

Our friend and previous pastor shared about King David, who's child dies. He spent seven days on his face before God, fasting and praying, but on the seventh day the child died. He arose, washed himself and ate, knowing that his child was in the hands of God and that he would see him again. King David was a man who chased after the heart of God, whom God loved and blessed richly. If you would think that any one's prayer should have been answered it would have been his.

Whether we are walking with God or not, tragedy befalls us all, but it is of utmost importance to have a faith to help carry you through. It is also comforting to have family or a community of people to lean on.

My stepson and wife suffered a loss of a child who died in the womb just short of being full term. She died of complications caused by a combination of factors and the young mother had to deliver a dead child, and this would have been their first born. They gave her a name, took the time to admire her and decided on cremation, so they could have her with them for awhile before deciding if they wanted to spread her ashes in a favorite place of theirs.

So many decisions, so much pain to bear, and so much to try and make sense of all in a very short time.

There is death and tragedy all about us, every day. People being shot, dying in fires, riots, earthquakes, land slides, war, famine, auto accidents or just being the victims of circumstance, wrong place at the wrong time.

No one is immune, we all will have to face it in one form or another. Some would say that being a Christian is foolishness, and God is just a crutch to our weakness, that all you need is yourself, to be strong, suck it up and move on, don't be a wimp.

The King of Israel sought after God and came to know him as a young man, out in the fields as he spent time with the sheep. He was no wimp. He killed bears and lions and other predators who came to harm the sheep. He was a fierce warrior and greatly admired and respected and other men of valor sought him out so they could be with him and fight in his army. He had one of the greatest kingdoms and was feared because of God who, was the God of David, the God of Israel.

Their is no shame in holding to faith and a faith that shows God as a friend.

So for me God is not a crutch i pick up just in my time of need, or a good story in a best selling book, or a myth that i hope might be true.

He has a place in my heart, he is reality and he is experiential. i love that he has said that he enjoys being a part of our lives, someone we can call upon, lean on, who is willing to comfort us in times of sorrow. He also sheds tears on account of our circumstances and pain.

i always hope for the best and pray and trust as i walk out this life, being blessed and being a blessing along my way.

It's a short journey, make the best of it and don't miss out on being friends with God.

You're going to meet him one way or the other!

(beautiful stained glass art by: Sylvia Laks)

2008-12-25T21:45:00.000-08:00

"all things were made and came into existence through Him; and without Him was not even one thing made that has come into being. In Him was life and the life was the light of men. And the light shines on in the darkness, for the darkness has never overpowered it [ put it out or absorbed it or appropriated it, and is even unreceptive to it]."

John 1: 3 - 5 (Amplified Bible)

It's Christmas once again, and in the Christian circles around the globe, the birth of Christ is celebrated. We know and understand that this is not a true representation of Christ's birth, but that it was a chosen time on the calender, which has caused much disagreement throughout history.

Hanukkah started on Dec. 22, this year and i bless my Jewish friends to have some wonderful time with family and tradition.

i didn't grow up with much tradition outside of the usual, family time, church, a meal, presents (which seemed to take the forefront).

Then God chased me down and got my full attention when i was 18, all these things began to change and it was not about me anymore and what i could get out of it. Slowly little things began to happen on a regular basis around and leading up to Christmas. There was ministry to the less fortunate, visiting at the jail, going about doing what we could for others with whatever means we had available. My children learnt to appreciate the fact that Christmas meant family and friends and helping others. Then there were small things we did as a family that became tradition, like opening one gift each Christmas eve after church service and a special breakfast in the morning. Where we lived it was always a white Christmas, so skating and sledding were enjoyed. And of course a grand turkey dinner with all the trimmings.

There has always been the battle of light and darkness surrounding anything that has to do with Jesus, no matter what time of year it is. But two thousand years later and the light has not been extinguished and never will be.

Before the crucifixion, the Jewish leaders met and spoke about Jesus ministry like it was going to be a flash in the pan, they had seen these things before. History reminds us of all the dictators who have risen and fallen trying to snuff out the message from God. Think of all the regimes around the globe and find one that still remains today, (outside of religion), and there isn't one. Why do you think that is?

Religious tradition is probably the strongest element to every culture that keeps men focused on something. It's a necessary part of our make-up. If you're not spiritual, then you have religious ritual in some other form, something your heart is overtaken by, sports, which has numerous dimensions is i think the most prevalent. So you see, if it ain't Jesus it's a substitute in one form or another.

Another thing present in all cultures are the stories between good and evil or light and darkness if you please. It goes on and on and we all love the stories. What is one of the most popular today and making it's way around the globe but Harry Potter, books and films. There's another light and darkness phenomenon?

Anyway, it's Christmas, and we enjoyed our traditions. My first with new wife and family, having a special waffle breakfast, prepared by her, (i do most all cooking) with blackberries, homemade maple syrup, flavoured coffee and rejoicing in God. Then we were trying to come up with a movie and it so happened Casablanca was on TV, (i know it's not about Christmas) and we watched the entire movie uninterrupted, so maybe that's something new for us.

The only thing i really missed this year because of financial strain was assisting someone less fortunate than myself. At least not so far this season.

The absolute best thing of all, is that before this whole world began, far far before he knew me and knew my name and loved me enough then to prepare life for me, and i've hardly scratched the surface of this miraculous truth.

Now, go figure that one out!

Wintery Wonderful

2008-12-23T20:56:00.000-08:00

The beautiful white covers us again, only earlier and more this year.

A white Christmas for sure.

This year for the first time in the last 10, i don't have to worry about the weather, the road conditions and other winter storms throughout CDA and the US.

i am home, nice and warm and comfortable. There is only one exception i'm not working, due to an injury. So as comforted as i am about not driving about the countryside, i sit with pain shooting through my left hip, leg and foot.

But! it's not deterring my enjoyment of Christmas. Our home is festively decorated, gifts under the tree, and since my sweetie is out working very hard for us, i transformed the house for her. i even have the miniature village on display, adding a few new pieces also.

Tomorrow is Christmas eve, and family time with one side, then our first Christmas morning as husband and wife. Then hopefully a trip up to the valley to share and visit with my family, and granddaughter who is about to be 2 in February.

Also more excitement coming in February as another expected grandchild for the Mrs.

Lots of excitement in the air, and new expectation as we wait on God to unveil some new plans for .09.

So i wish and pray blessings on all, with safe journeys and happy memories.

Merry Christmas!

(photo by me)

Walking the Wintery Woods

2008-12-14T06:04:00.001-08:00

2008-12-13T20:21:00.000-08:00

in life unlived
such tragedy give,
the uses all used
all graces abused
trying tears
on falling faces
spilled in all
awkward of places,
unending steps toward
a slippery goal
bent over bent forward
bent and bent
unable to contend,
walking and talking
running into walls
onto the streets
into the falls
faces turned down
sorrows we crown,
smoldering ash
nights turned
and days past
calendars reminder
into shallow words
all the unkinder,
holding hard
against the wind
rice paper walls
ever thinned
holding ever holding
onto the closing dawn
to curtains torn
and curtains drawn
to frowns on faces
all over time
these are the faces
clocks and time
hands and spaces
our lives unlived
such tragedy
we give.

Life Unlived

2008-12-13T20:17:00.000-08:00

Taking off our Heads

2008-12-10T10:20:00.000-08:00

We are so full of information and well meaning things, with today's access to info from around the world and every conceivable thing at our fingertips, literally.

From a Christian perspective of teaching, studying, ideas flowing from every corner of the globe.

We think and therefore we believe we are informed. But if we approach God only on an intellectual level, we will miss him completely.

The word of God clearly states that He is Spirit, and we must come to him in spirit and in truth.

It also says that we are made in his image. To be spiritual beings.

We somehow miss this step in his plan for us and try instead to reach him through a number of other means.

I'm not suggesting mysticism, eastern religions have that covered, overwhelming us with the practice of enlightenment in numerous forms, but only leading to another realm of emptiness.

Our minds are well trained, full, imagination and so on. From the artistic, scientific, logic, and the great thinkers of our time and times past.

Consider the mind likened to an electrical grid. There is always power flowing. From the power station it is directed to the recipients. There will be areas where the power needs to be increased or decreased according to the need. Now when we are in our home we have no problem flicking the switch and believe the light will illuminate the room. We have faith in the system and unless there is a failure with the bulb, fuse, breaker, power line in etc., everything will work.

We get the voltage necessary for the light and toaster and so on. Other appliances may require more voltage which is arranged at the junction panel and special wiring, such as the dryer and stove. These things we understand and take for granted.

Let me suggest that we take the Spirit of God for granted. God has given us the person of the Holy Spirit to dwell within us. Why? We needed a regulator for the power of God to pass through and into our spirit. Notice i didn't say mind, because we simply cannot comprehend God with our mind.Remember He is Spirit.

Earlier i mentioned our imagination as part of our make-up. Some believe we can have an overactive imagination when it pertains to the things of God.

So, God himself initiates the person of the Holy Spirit, who is a part of himself, to be joined with us who are also a part of himself. (made in his image) Then Jesus, who is also a part of God, is the viaduct to God.

No problem, right?

Big problem, we are using our mind as the chief principle for understanding the things of God. We want to control the thinking and imagination and bypass the spirit. We are not just body, where the mind resides, nor soul, seat of the emotions, but spirit also where we are joined to God.

The body is temporary, the soul and spirit are designed for eternity to be in communication with an eternal God. He designed us this way.

God has wired us for his glory to reside, so what's the problem. Partly, the Word is Spirit breathed, and we are still trying to respond with the mind.

His Spirit, His power is available, then there must be a wiring malfunction.

(1) The wires are not connected to the panel.

(2) Wrong, bad, or old wiring and needs a change.

(3) The main switch was never turned on.

(4) The people inside the house are in rebellion that the power even exists.

(5) The people have turned on the power and all the lights but live in denial and fear of the dark, living and existing with selfish motives.

(6) The people believe that they have created the power by their own means and doing and that is all there is to it, enjoying it for themselves for the moment because it might be gone tomorrow.

(7) They are living outside the grid and stealing the power and hiding from everyone but believing that they are justified.

Paul writes to us in these books, Romans, Ephesians, Galatians, "to live by and walk in, and pray in the Spirit."

So, God might say to us something like this, "take off your head and let me replace it with one that I have made especially for you. One that thinks my thoughts and is joined to me, one that is readily made of Spirit material and wired to receive my power more readily."

Why don't we want to believe it?

Perhaps it is because we are proud of what goes on inside our head?

Being Known

2008-12-05T20:27:00.000-08:00

It always amazes me when out of the blue, God shows up and changes the scenery.
We are most often unaware of his presence, like a father tip-toeing into the bedroom to check on the sleeping child.
In this particular instance he called my family name in a crowd of about 600 people, in a special church service with a well known and respected teacher and prophet, Larry Randolph, who was one of the instrumental persons used during the Toronto blessing.
It was Friday evening a few weeks ago and at the end of his message he directed some uplifting words to a select few and then asked for us by our family name. He spoke directly to our hearts and situation, but that is just the way God is, always aiming at the heart.
Our hearts are the most vulnerable part of our make-up of body, soul and spirit, because how we have been treated, spoken to, taught, believe, absorb life will be reflected through our hearts.
Jesus said, "out of the overflow (abundance) of the heart the mouth speaks."
We are to have a treasure of life filling up our hearts, so that at any given moment we can be a blessing of life to others. Living water flowing like a river to give life.
I've been reading a book called, Waking The Dead, by author John Eldredge. He is a wonderful writer using many antidotes and pieces from different movies such as, Gladiator, Lord of The Rings, and some of C.S. Lewis. He has a significantly different approach that is very refreshing, real and right where we live.
Getting back to God, speaking to our hearts. I have been on this journey of unwanted pain for about 2 1/2 months now, and it is around the new job i have. It has caused me to dig deep for strength and faith, and i have awakened in the middle of the night to pray and pursue God, and get in his face. Part of this word to us was the fact that i am a bulldozer, and i know how to push, but that i have been up against something that requires some divine intervention, that he is going to assist me with. How cool is that!
Thank you God my awesome friend and Father.

2008-11-25T19:15:00.000-08:00

Morning Song
Earth stretches
in it’s mouth
a yawn,
of awakening
the wind,
steals
along the valley
of apple trees
a king,
bowing the grasses
the pine hillside,
but oaks defy
a thrust of pride
wind,
dust soaring
cobwebs clinging,
the spider dancing
the morning song
is dew on grasses
glistening,
with silent weeping
in the sun
and
a time piece cock
over hill
crows…
Sept. 78

2008-11-25T19:12:00.000-08:00

Heidi's continued talents.

Artwork by Heidi Brannan; etherworks.net

2008-11-25T19:02:00.000-08:00

This is an awesome banner, painted on silk, by an artist friend for another friend and hangs in their home.

Our friend Heidi, is a superb artist with many talents, you can find her at,

http://www.etherworks.net/

The Earth is the Lord's and the Fullness thereof

2008-11-16T20:22:00.000-08:00

Due to some problems i cannot get into my other blog, so i will continue my entries here for now.

The Scientific community has recognized for decades that we are a unique entity.

The cloning or should i say the efforts of trying to clone is a great example. The DNA factors within each individual cell only allows for the reproduction of another unique cell, and it will always be different.

i will continue to state that it takes more energy to disbelieve in the simplicity of the spoken word of God for creation to have come into being. There are just too many diversities for evolution and too many mathematical perfections for the big bang theory.

i was watching a program about the physics in the universe and in his deliberation there were more probabilities than there were solid facts, because the mathematics and quantum science or "theory", which is just that, doesn't have all the answers; but then for some strange reason, because men have done something with different diagrams and physics, we think that they are more believable than the reality of a supreme being.

Here's one for you. Why are our bodies made up of just the right amount of water and matter, and why is the atmosphere just the right mixture of oxygen, nitrogen etc. for us to be a living being?

Why is the moon specifically a certain distance from earth?

Why is the earth tilted at a specific degree and spin at a certain rotation and made up of the components necessary for our survival in any part of it?

The greater part of mankind are lacking in sound judgement and intelligence and are at the mercy of being led by the blindness of others.

Now that is real stupidity.

Lemming mentality.

(artwork by: Sylvia Laks)

I Remain

2008-11-10T20:07:00.000-08:00

I remain
I watch the days pass
like clouds
on an everlasting wind
gathering body
until they ‘re pregnant
and rain on us.
we’re alone now
alone in the sun
we bake
fry
our brains
hot eggs
on pavement
the black asphalt
scorching
our hurting feet.
we beat our
chests
harder and harder
but
Tarzan does
not become us
and I sink
into a misty
blue.
the only water
runs down my face
gathers on my glasses
in little pools
I drown
in sorrows
fallen lament.
I hit the
burning pavement
I’m fried
past cooked
past baked.
I’m harder than
a rock
don’t pick me up
I’ll burn your fingers.

shower me with cool
another rain
another shower
rain on me
but most of all
reign in me.
past iniquities
spent
the loss alas lost
at last tossed
the sea waves
bread on the water
frothing
churning
this burning desire
I’ve never had
inside
my heart
the glass palace
you can see right in.
there I am…
and here I am
and there I go…
sweat is not sweet
not a sweet smell
not a sweet taste
the sweat
of repulsion
I drip
I bleed of
I can’t even shed
a tear
to care for others.
I’m cold sweat
and death
met in a glass bottle
on a rolling sea
to capture me.
out and out
and into myself
time is no friend to me
nothing changes
only
the surroundings
i remain
staining the page
again.
Aug. 99

uncork me

2008-11-10T19:55:00.000-08:00

uncorkme
Thedesperationoftimethosemorbidanxietiesthegarblednonseniclehangingonsofpastiniquitiesandpainthateverlastingtormentofdesperationandanguishthethoughtofitwearsmeoutlikesandpaperonglasstheviewbecomesdistortedandyoudon’tknowwhattodo?anxiousmomentslikedeadweightsuponthemindtheymakeyoublindandbindthetruththatsetsyoufreethewindenclosedinabottlehasnoeffectunlessuncorkeduncorkmeohGodthatimightlive.

IfeariamdeadbutnotinthepropersensedeadtolifedeadtothoughtsofselfhelpdeadtopassiondeadtodrynesslikedryleavesonbarrensoildriedupreadyforthefirefiremydesirefuelmeohLordthatimightlivehavesomethingtogivetogiveallbeforethefinalcalltogivetolivetolivetogivetohaveandtoholdnotstonecoldbutsoldoutonJesus.
Aug.99

Inside The Labyrinth

2008-10-27T21:12:00.000-07:00

inside the labyrinth
moving back and forward,
forward, backward... backward,
backward,
the forward backward
bastard thoughts.
darkness heaping
upon heap
of heaps
of shit, the pile
of piles piled higher and higher
slippery, stinking, putrescent shit
full of contempt.
you find
the corruptible
wastebucket that you are.
can't hold water,
can't hold the wine
the breath of life,
you constantly breath out
instead of in,
wasted lungs of fungus
disease,
dank
dark
depravity
destructive killing
life ripping unpleasantries
tear the life from you
and you don't have the balls
to care anymore.
you've listened to the lies
forever
believing every one
and now you lay down
with death
wishes
staring, gloating
from every corner.
the screwed up lightbulbs
screwed out,
blank
blankety blank,
blank
you're a stain on the earth
polluting Gods creation.
believing you had something
to offer,
you cough and choke
and puke,
the real you
is buried beneath
a heap of bullshit.
worthless,
nothing good inside
it's all polluted
by unbelief
lies,
voices calling
if you stay
inside the labyrinth
you die.

CORRUPTIBLE WORDS

2008-10-25T19:11:00.000-07:00

Giving up
on life
life you've never had
with all the others,
so much alike
riding the same train,
train of thoughts
untrained
and yet
trained to kill,
destroy
detach
disassemble,
the members of life.
holding
onto threads
of hope
cope.

dead men
in long lines of dead men
on street corners
on buses
in houses,
in ditches
and boxes,
burnt out images
buried beneath
forgotten memories
the snow white surface,
bleak
imaginary
surface
all hold onto,
but
the handles are broken
by corruptible words
already spoken.

(Dec.00)